By Thomas Caterer
Our Earth’s entangled in a cosmic web
I mean that quite literally
Bill read about in the morning paper
a spider the size of a sun
a planet eater
she laid a trap for us
awaiting our arrival
at the point in our orbit
where her web lay in wait
She tugs at the web to draw us in ever closer
unable to shake free
we are inevitably drawn into the gaping chasm
of her eager, hungry mouth
Bill sighed with exasperation
he pulled out sports and tossed me the rest
he shook his head, incredulous
‘you seen the keeper United signed?
What an overspend!
Rovers had them over a barrel!’ Bill tutted, and the spider’s eyes widened with ravenous lust
so in the end, this is the end of us
I had rather hoped to decompose on solid ground and turn to dust
rather than break down in the acids of this gigantic arachnid
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