Tag: Philosophy

Charlie Boy

~ Yanagi Studios

By Thomas Caterer

Charlie boy, he walks out of the club
a big lad, danced not quite majestically
but joyfully bounced as erratic limbs
floundered and flailed

A smirking man in the smoking area
smiles cruelly in his direction
a cutting remark on good lad Charlie’s body
or dance moves or something
elicits mirth from the surrounding sycophants

Charlie smiles warmly and approaches Smirker
puts an arm on his shoulder, Smirker’s surprised
‘listen son, it’s no good is it eh? This mean-spirited lark?
You’re missing out on a chance to grow, there’s a tonne of
spiritual work ahead for you eh? But you gotta give it up, to be so
mean of spirit, it won’t help you or anyone, son’

Charlie goes back in for bass and beer
and to dance freely, unburdened; Zen raving
Smirker feels a chill roll down his spine
his face burns red, ‘faggot’ he spits
the sheep snigger

Ben Gives Julia Flowers

~ Yanagi Studios

Ben hands over a bouquet of flowers
placing them carefully into Julia’s hands
‘women like flowers right?
they remind you of death
but you don’t fear it like men do
women are real troopers like that’

Julia lifts them to her nose, takes an approving sniff
Ben remarks;
‘they say women like flowers because they like
to be reminded of their mortality, they don’t fear entropy,
not the way men do’

‘Who are they?’ she asks
‘you know, they, the people.
the cycle plays out, we all have a short time here
just the like the flowers, we can all be beautiful
expressions of life for a while, then we wither and die
just like the flowers
They say women like them for these reasons and more
they like the transience’

‘Thank you’ says Julia grimacing as she takes the flowers
‘least I can do’ Ben smiles and adds ‘you’re the ones who go
through giving birth, and menstruation, what warriors eh?
Least I can do, to express my appreciation for it all’ Julia places them in a vase with water
she sighs at the sight of a fallen petal
‘already beginning the end I see
Shoulda got me a bloody cactus instead’

Inevitable

~ Yanagi Studios

Why are you bothered about death
if you’re such a Buddhist?
Scared that if embodied beings can be malevolent
as well as benevolent
the same can be said for disembodied beings?
That is a troubling thought

For all the pain, suffering, and senseless cruelty
of this world
I still find a lot I love about this world
and do not want to leave it
nor leave my body
and yet I am becoming more profoundly aware
that one day I will die

It hits harder now after a series of death panics
and the disturbing sensation of being out
of one’s body, occurring increasingly frequently
that yes it is true, your body will rot, and your
consciousness will be unceremoniously ripped
from your precious flesh
it is inevitable
always in the end, inevitable

Nothing

~ Yanagi Studios

By Thomas Caterer

I was in a club called DEF in Japan
I tried talking to the barmaid about death
She asked why I was thinking about that
I replied I always am
I thought of a friend from way back when
I can’t think of anything profound to say about it now
He should be here
He’s not
Well, I see all these young dancing people
The kids are happy
That makes me happy
French kissing and vibrant sexual energy
Who could ever want to hurt them?
I want to protect them
I think of those who’d want to hurt them
and feel angry
They, like us all, are children of god
Manifestations of the divine
and they may not know it yet
but bless them, they are so afraid
We are all here in our ape shape
Beings of consciousness
Siblings in the cosmos
Let us choose love and compassion
I think of my friend, gone too soon
I have nothing profound to say about it
I have nothing

Harmony

~ Yanagi Studios

The ying and yang need to be in harmony
we understand this is true
from a distance one views two of another species
sensually, violently entwined
it can’t tell whether they’re fighting or fucking
they are not of the same kind
closeness expressed in an intimate touch
the harmony of spheres, the unity of opposite forces
you know it is true
we need to balance things to feel peace
and end the unneeded suffering

Tendrils

~ Yanagi Studios

All the bright and joyful memories you make
you may think on for a few seconds here and there
lives you’ve impacted, people who love you
these come to mind when conjured very deliberately
in a meditation, or when trying to calm down in a vortex
of death related panic;
existential crisis again

And yet so easily the hurtful thoughts arise unbidden
uninvited, or at least so you say, lamentations, regrets,
accusations against the self
the negativity bias is a bitch, for sure
these thoughts wrap themselves like vines perhaps,
or cold, icy tendrils, constricting your mind

The egoistic concerns, the envy, the fear
letting this go, and breathing in, holding it, breathing out
realise violence is the last resort, a defence only
I don’t know why we’re here, but I’m growing surer of that at least
think on love, compassion, kindness
breathe in white light
breathe out black smoke
eventually feel the grip of the tendrils relent

Whiskey Helps the Death Go Down

~ Yanagi Studios

It does seem to make sense to choose to make friends rather than enemies
when life is so full of pain and suffering, it’s almost to the brim
you may need sturdy warriors there in your last garrison
as they’ll need you in theirs
there are fates that seem so undeserved
I have fantasised often of revenge on those who’ve wronged me
yet there are horrors in this world, I haven’t the heart to wish on anyone
not even those who hurt me at my weakest
I’d rather keep things quick and clean
I don’t want any of these god’s creations to suffer
in a cage, a drawn out torture
what does it prove?
We know nature’s majesty
she has nothing to prove
so in the deepest pits
is a mercy shown?
A flood of hallucinogenic chemical to take away the pain?
Ease the transition of this child of God?
Is there some escape, always at hand, in the mind?

I love that sound
the crackle of the ice, as the liquor fills the glass
whiskey helps the death go down
the heat at the back of your throat is calming, meditative
it helps when your thoughts turn to the macabre
I can accept I’m ugly but I must be clean,
yes, always clean and pure, scrub away the day’s filth

As you walk down the sin-filled street at night
wondering and dreaming to yourself in an endless chatter of thought
there is an all-consuming black on the horizon of the cityscape
Forms appear out of the dark as you get closer
forms creeping to you, taking shape out of the nothingness
forms approaching you as you approach them
‘a metaphor for death?’ you wonder to yourself
an intoxicated grin upon your face

The Cycle

~ Yanagi Studios

I understand how Dawkins feels sometimes
Or Einstein when he said belief in the afterlife is for those afraid of death
It must be a comfort to believe there is nothing
What utter peace

Consciousness can be burdensome
Love weighs heavy too
Naïve materialism is a blessed relief
The responsibilities of an adult make one weary, endowing nihilism with such strong appeal

Indra did not want to admit he could yet become another ant
Perhaps better to die a god and dissipate
You can see why Cox yearns for the heat death
Without recognising it as another thing it is
A cosmic orgasm
The French called cumming le petit mort
We know orgasms can create life in the right context

Somehow life finds a way even in the rigid restrictions of the Goldilocks principle
The life goes on…
The cycle goes on…
It’s remorseless

Billy Knocked Back a Bitter

~ Yanagi Studios

Billy knocked back a bitter
Looked me in the eye
‘It was all a lie’ he declared
‘What was?’ I tentatively inquired
‘MDMA, when were young, taking it at the clubs’
‘Aye, you’re not 19 forever’
‘You’d be there, buzzing off your tits
A shy, awkward geek chatting all night with one of the cool kids
Fuckboy 101
You’d talk about life, death, your fears, and hopes
The meaning of the universe
Then you part ways with a sweaty hug, like you’ve bonded
The barriers betwixt nerd and lad lay in ruins’
‘How beautiful a thing’
Billy gestured to the barkeep to refill his pint glass
‘Except’ he continued ‘you see the cunt on campus 2 days later
You wave and say ‘hi’ wearing a daft grin
And they storm right past you
Showing you up in front of your course mates
They pause to look your way with an expression of contempt
Which conveys they hold you in lower esteem
Than the shit on the bottom of their shoe’
‘The Great British night out’ I chime in sardonically
‘It was all a lie, all that MDMA’
‘Where’s the truth to be found?’
‘I don’t know’ Billy shook his head ‘bloody tap water maybe’
‘It’s a shame the Brits are like that, everyone needs music and dance
You see a tribe in a Bruce Parry doc
They know how to share something like that
Without the British style of casual cruelty tainting it
Why do our lot find it impossible to have something like that?’
‘The Vikings came, took all the pretty women
And killed the men brave enough to defend them
The skulking cowards left behind to reproduce are our ancestors
So we’re stuck in this mess’
Billy’s sixth bitter arrived
He downed it in two between drags on a fag
I was quite impressed

To Kill a Frog by Mistake, and Befriend a Tortoise on Purpose

~ Yanagi Studios

By Thomas Caterer

‘You’ll get what you deserve when you die
rest assured of that!’
the tortoise said this to me, just after I stomped on a frog
by mistake mind you, and he did die instantly
I cleaned the guck from the bottom of my shoe
and yet not the guilt from my heart

‘It was an accident!’ I protested
yet the tortoise showed me no sympathy
he walked across the sand, his expression severe
‘you rush about carelessly, not looking where you’re going,
not paying attention to your surroundings,
now poor Mr. Frog is as dead as disco!’

I have often thought of this as years have flown by
the karmic consequences of our actions
are destined to catch up to us eventually
I should have paid more attention this I can admit

Tortoise and I eventually became friends,
putting our differences aside
one night as he poured me a fine whiskey,
taken from an oak cabinet
I asked; ‘is it ever frustrating to move so slow?’

‘Moving so slow… it means you see less in life, and yet more clearly’
his eyes welled up a little as his flippers gripped his tumbler of Scotch
‘you do not need to rush, you see the fine details in what you do see’
I replied, ‘you don’t step on any frogs, I suppose?’
‘Well ape, no I guess not, not that I remember from this life anyway’ he said
with a kind smile on his old face

I remembered again his first words to me;
‘You’ll get what you deserve when you die
rest assured of that!’
I don’t know if justice is all that quick,
as we all die so soon
but eventually I’m sure he’s proved right